Over the past years we have been complimented on our courage, our humor. our resilience, but in truth we were camouflaging our feelings. It was our way of covering up, a great lesson we learned from Joe. The way of the game was not to let anyone in to our pain. So we would filter the news of every scan or doctor visit, not letting anyone know how bad it was. Protect yourself from the inevitable at all costs. We became pretty good players covering with our sarcastic humor and brave smiling faces until we couldn't any more. Joe kept playing the game while we silently stood on the sidelines dealing with the truth.
We drove to Chattanooga to be with Tony and David. This was the first time we said the words "Joe is dying", and in the deafening silence I searched for my sarcastic humor armor. We would all eventually suit up again, resume our humor, laugh as much as we could while hiding our true feelings behind closed doors.
It is just easier this way, so we will continue to play the game awhile longer.
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