The End

Last night before Tony headed back to school we sat in our living room and talked about the end.  How we were amazed that three years have passed.  How Tony crashed and burned at a dive meet last year on the anniversary of Joe's death.  How hard it is for the boys to tell their new friends about Joe. We went down memory lane telling funny stories of Joe and the boys growing up.  We laughed but then I cried when the house was quiet and was left alone with my thoughts.  

I don't sleep much during this time and find it difficult to focus.  I have learned to "clear the decks" and not take too much on in case the chink in my amour will fail.  Joe would not have liked that I do this, he never liked to see me cry or be sad even at the end.  But after all the brave faces I have put on during his battle with cancer I will be truthful.  I miss Joe everyday and am sad how his absence has changed our family.