How We Say Goodbye

I was scanning the CNN website a few weeks ago and ran across an interesting article about the dead greeting the dying. The experts say at the end they recognize a mother, father, relative or friend that has passed away and are ready to greet them on the other side. It was an article written by a man who deals with this regularly and clearly he had more years of experience. We were the rookies thrown into this arena groping our way through the dark every day with the help of Hospice, a therapist and our own gut feelings. But what struck me was the recurring scenario he described, a conversation with a vision in the corner of the room or at their bedside happening within weeks or hours of passing away.

I remember before Joe passed away he became particularly agitated one night on the heels of sleeping most of the day and night for a week. He insisted on being out of bed and was sitting on the floor, covered in a blanket, with an unnerving wild look in his eyes. His head jerked from one corner of the room to the other and finally he'd pointed to the left side and growled, "I am not going with you and don't ask me again." His face softened as he pointed to the right corner softly saying, "I will go with you."

To this day we have no idea who he was talking to, nor could he tell us since he promptly returned to bed not to move or speak after that night. I do know whoever was visiting his beside that night he had made his choice and they were waiting for him.