Fun

A dear friend of mine, while we were walking, asked when was the last time you had fun. I thought this was an odd question since she knew what we have been through these past years. We walked and I started to think when was my last fun. It will surprise you that the best times were the last four years.

It was not the trip to Williamsburg, or to the beach, or to New York with Joe, or to Europe. It was the last four months of Joe's life. We laughed, we hugged, we read and we spent time on our bed just talking. We took care of each other. Those were happy times, and sad times; but it was embracing each other, loving each other and finding the strength to go forward.

What A Tuxedo!?

David casually mentioned he needed a tuxedo, and maybe a suit along with his blazer and dress pants for Saint Andrews. I sat back in my chair as reality of attending a Scottish University sunk into my brain. My question was why? Well, as David plodded on, you know we have three formals a year, then I added what if you are invited to a dinner and you need a suit. And then there is just the dress causal occasion for the blazer and dress pants. Let us not forget the all purpose rain jacket and the "Wellies" for the nonstop rain. Right behind that will be the "country clothes" and the riding boots.

No matter, it is a new culture, new experiences and an incredible opportunity. That is my new mantra.

Cross Roads

I am at the corner of pain and hope. When you chose the road of pain your heart freezes in time or you can choose the road that moves you forward. I am choosing hope. As a sitting member on the Family Advisory Council I have witnessed changes at Levine Children's Hospital that will make kids stays easier and less painful. I am working on a project that will help parents cope better with the stress of seeing their children suffer. I have put myself in a place of greeting patrons at the Belk Theater so they can enjoy the evening. I look for activities that I enjoy; friends, family, a walk or a book.

Optimally you have two choices with tragedy, the high road or the low road. I am choosing the high road. The road of hope in my son's memory.

Tony And David's Fathers Day

One worked, one went to class; both were gone all day. So now they are picking their Dad up from a volunteer gig he had, getting him a milk shake and giving them their cards. It is their perfect Father's
Day.

Father's Day

I gave my Dad a card today that stated on the cover "Thank you for your patience" and on the inside it went on to say and more patience, and more patience and even more patience. That was my Dad always the "Steady Eddy" when us girls were whirling out of control. He was the one who patiently sailed with me while I was learning, never yelling only doing his famous finger point signaling you are on the wrong tact, or sitting back when everything was shipshape. He has been my sounding board for so many years, my political outlet for discussions, my stockbroker and the weaver of tales from the past.

But today he was my Dad who said his infamous prayer blessing everyone in the world and those who were seated at his table. Happy Father's Day Dad and I look forward to as many more as possible.

Date Night

Ah yes "Date Night", something Mike and I have not done for a very long time. But tonight we did and it was wonderful. We had a delectable dinner and leisurely walked to the theatre. We lingered at the restaurant talking about everything, you know all of those things you never have a chance to discuss at home with the hustle and bustle. Then we moved on to the play at the Belk Theater. And now home with our boys we are reminded of why "Date Nights" are far and few between. But when you have one savor every minute.

A Bit of This, A Bit of That

You know when you are down in the dumps a bit of this and bit of that helps you through. Well, today it was all about those bits. It was an invitation for a reunion of a past advertising agency I worked for, it was online chats with nurses that took such good care of Joe, a chat with a friend who for some odd reason we prop each other up, and then a long time friend who I will reconnect with after 18 years.

The bit of this and the bit of that adds up to a grand total.

Is This Cancer Month?

The two magazines I subscribe to, Time and Runners World were filled with nothing but articles on cancer. First there was Dr. Oz bigger than life on the cover of Time, and since I don't watch his show I was completely unaware he had a scare. The cover of Runners World was all about running while having, recovering or being in treatment with cancer. Ok, I have to admit it was in my face and while many of the stories were exceptional it is not always the reality.

I leafed through the pages and only one article caught my eye. It was in Time and titled Scanxiety. It was real, it was poignant, it was scary and in this author's life a gift of another three months. While reading it the same feelings of my heart pounding, the unspoken words leading up to "the day", the drive to the fifteen minute chest x-ray that would determine our next move was just plain horrible. We would hold our breath waiting to know if we could exhale until the next one or have the wind knocked out of us.

Scanxiety is part of the lives of every cancer patient, no matter how many months or years they are out of treatment. "The Day" is never far from their minds.

5 a.m.

For some odd reason we were all awake at 5 a.m. this morning. I led the way wanting a glass of water, then I heard footsteps on the stairs and it was David. Not far behind was Tony followed by Mike. For thirty minutes we laughed and watched Tony eat, and then eat some more. We poked fun at each other, and then as swiftly as we awoke and collected in our kitchen we were gone retreating to our beds for a few more hours of sleep. It was a wonderful meeting around our table and reminded me our late nights in the past.

White Pants

I poked fun of white pants and navy blazers for graduation since the day Joe stepped on the campus of McCallie. I remember Mary Kay and I would comment on "we need to get those darn white pants". In Joe's case it was a determined quest to have him wear the white pants.

We as parents jump at the chance to buy them cheap since we knew most of the boys will never wear them again. Well, maybe if you go on to Ole Miss you would wear them again. But I knew my sons would only wear them at gun point or to save another person's life.

But seriously, as much fun as it is to poke at these virgin white pants, when the boys of McCallie walk into graduation it is spectacular. It is a crossing point, a bridge from being boys to men, an induction to the long blue line; however they want to be a part of that tradition. And then at the reception what bugged them was stripped away and what was endearing was apparent as they hugged each other, posed for pictures and finally said goodbye to "The Ridge".

Navy blazers, McCallie ties and white pants were worth the effort.