This day is very different than last year. Today Joe left our house for the very last time and we commenced starting the task of saying goodbye to him. I don't remember much of what happened over the next week but there are images, snippets of memories that have lingered. I remember him leaving the house in his Upenn golf shirt and thermal shirt, it was very cold that day and I wanted to make sure he was warm. I remember putting the house back together. Then the surreal drive to the funeral home where we saw Joe for the last time and thinking how he would have hated that they "popped" his collar.
Vivid and clear are the memories in the wee hours in the morning. That is when I laid beside my son waiting for Hospice and the funeral home. I fell asleep, a sleep so deep I had to be shaken awake. I did so stubbornly. I did not want to leave my dream to face the grey just before dawn delivering me to the task of making phone calls.
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