Health Care

The great debate is churning at the Supreme Court about the Health Care plan set forth by Obama. And I had made a promise not to make this blog a political platform, but honestly I can't let this one pass without a word or two.

As you all know Joe was sick for a long time. And we ran out of insurance to cover his treatments. In his Senior year of high school his cancer recurred. Our decision at that point was not when do we start treatment but rather where do we find insurance to cover his treatments, and at five figures for each chemotherapy that was a consideration. We were presented with health coverage for him for everything but his cancer. We were forced to apply for Medicaid and Disability for Joe. So many warned us that his care would be less than we knew. You know what they were wrong. Joe's protocols were administered in the same hospital and his oncologist never changed.

My twin sons suffer from asthma and Tony has diabetes. Without the exclusion of pre-exisitig conditions they will never qualify for health insurance. Their opportunities in the future will be limited to only places that will insure them within a group plan. Something to think about.

I am amazed that I have one at UChicago and was made to buy a student health plan because he was "out of network" at the tune of three thousand dollars a year; and I have one in Scotland that his plan covers everything, including medicine, with no charge.

Hmmm...something to think about during the great debate of our civil liberties.

Robert Alan "Bob" Wilson

I only met him once at Joe's graduation in 2008. But I know his daughter Susie who has been working tirelessly to keep his dream alive of a special needs boarding school in Keswick, Virginia. It was a vision that he and his wife Libby followed. After so many years of building it up from a few students around their kitchen table to housing many more boarding students it is a miracle and a blessing to families that need this support.

Today I learned Bob passed away and I know without a doubt so many will miss him and his loving leadership. As I said before I only met him once and his presence was huge. Not unlike his daughter Susie who without a thought or question will carry on his vision with the same strong and loving leadership.

Please keep this family in your prayers.

Shine

Tonight was a shining moment. I sat in the Knight Theater in Charlotte, NC and experienced the most shining three hours of the North Carolina Dance Theater Dance Company perform Sleeping Beauty. These finely tuned dancers were beautiful and impeccable. Everything was more then expected.

And I wonder when the "more than expected" come from our sons do I give it the well deserved "shine". Did I bask in their accomplishments? Yes, I do since in my eyes they are far greater than myself and reach for brighter stars.

Light

I don't know if it was the trip to McCallie, the long walk today or just that I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I was happy for the first time in two years. I laughed out loud. I stood straight and strong, my eyes were not puffy and I was interested in connecting with other people.

Does this mean I am seeing the light at the end of the longest, darkest tunnel named in the honor of grief? Will the darkness come back, most surely it will during milestones of Tony and David's lives or during the holidays; but for now I will bask in the light.

Joe's Walk

Six hours driving to McCallie with little conversation you could feel the tension in our car. We were returning to Chattanooga for Joe's Walk without Tony and David. Another first in our journey since Joe has passed away. Joe's friends were coming in from all different directions and those who could not make the walk were texting us wishing they could be there. Tony called in the middle of the afternoon to check up on us and the walk. David emailed setting a Skype time for Sunday. They both felt the importance of this date.

Driving on the campus memories filled my head with Joe's first visit, Honors Scholars weekends, moving him in his dorm and three years later doing the same for Tony and David. Stepping on to this campus for the first time since Tony and David graduated was a bit overwhelming especially when the chapel came into focus and then when we gently laid rosemary in the gardens in front of Caldwell Hall where we spread his ashes.

We arrived to the start of the walk and were embraced by faculty wanting to now how the boys were, how we were and conversations were seamless as if we had never left. It was comfortable as they all opened their arms to welcome us back. Joe's friends walked the "no walk" he had set up six years ago before going on to the Odle's who graciously opened their home giving us a platform to remember.

Joe was a boy with so few years shared by all but has lived on in the hearts, tears and love by many. And thank you to those at McCallie for your devotion to keep my son's memory alive through all of your efforts and hard work supporting Joe's Walk.

Another Loss

Joe was eighteen and Joey was four. But they connected on the 11th floor of Levine Children's Hospital and Joey was the only patient he would visit. They shared the same name, Joseph Michael. They shared rare pediatric cancers. They knew their fate long before others were let in on the secret. They lived their lives as if it would go on forever. They gave us hope and a blueprint to live our lives. They were survivors even though they did not survive.

But I know, as Joey's family is feeling today, if there could be one more hug, one more conversation and one more special time with their son it would be cherished.

The Great Weekend

Our weekend started with a drive to Cleveland, Ohio to watch Tony dive in his first conference championship but it turned out to be much more than that. It was my mom and dad climbing in the car for the long drive and many hours in the bleachers to watch their grandson. It was David thousands miles away requesting "keep me in the loop". It was a high school dive coach wanting to know everything. It was Tony living his dream of diving in college.

At the same time in Chattanooga, TN McCallie awarded the second Joe Restaino Scholarship. Appropriately passed on to another Honor Scholar David Paul who will travel to Beijing this summer offering a glimpse into another world and someday he will make a difference because of this opportunity.

Diving, scholarships, my elderly parents making the effort was all wonderful. The best was David's support for Tony. He was so far away but still so close. And my wish for these brothers is their love and support for each other will continue for many years.